If you have worked in recruitment long enough you will know that it can be a total nightmare. As Halloween approaches, what better way to embrace the quirks of our profession than to sum up a day in recruitment using the timeless and occasionally terrifying medium of horror films?
Having read on LinkedIn that recruiters who get up at 4 a.m. bill more, with the living hell that is your market at the moment you thought trying an early rise would be a good idea.
You remember the LinkedIn post that you read suggested you use the extra time you’ve given yourself by waking up at an ungodly hour to be productive. Instead of going for a run, meditating, and making a casserole you decide to lie awake and think about where your next deal is coming from.
Instead of going for a run at 4 a.m., you decide to save your daily exercise by leaving the house at the last minute resulting in a frantic dash for the train as you desperately try to outrun the other disorganised commuters determined to squeeze into the last space before you.
The market might be tough at the moment but your manager’s new motivational tactics seem to be on the extreme side… they will really do anything to get those placements in.
Time to go out and meet your clients to see what they think about those candidates you sent over last month - for the job they said was super urgent, of course. You look on in horror as they read the CVs with a look on their face that can only be interpreted as “I’m not paying you 20% for this waste of time”.
Recruiting sure is hungry work and now it’s time for lunch. You sit down to a healthy protein-filled meal with your best work buddies, taking careful note that you desperately need to move up in the office social pecking order.
The horror! Your CRM hasn’t been cleansed since Margaret Thatcher was prime minister and you have just tried to source some candidates for that hard-to-fill role. Every call is a 50/50 chance of just getting ghosted - and you're simply trying to warm up long-dead leads.
Oh, look it’s that terrible candidate that keeps calling the office for an update on the jobs that you didn’t submit them to. Even better - they have a new CV that doesn’t have a passive-aggressive explanation of why their last role at McDonald’s didn’t work out due to creative differences with Ronald.
You’ve made it to the end of what has been a very long day, condolences. Everyone knows that a true top biller likes to leave the office in style: After the hell that was today perhaps one of the upper floor windows sounds like a good idea.