Well done, you have smashed the first half of the year and have qualified for the company’s summer holiday incentive. There is, however, a problem - it was easy to get noticed at the Christmas party when you were surrounded by the plebs that can’t bill to save their lives, but if you are going to get in with the boss on a company holiday, you really need to pull the stops out. Don’t worry – we’ve got just the recipe! Here are some tips on how to stand out while on your recruitment company holiday:
Upgrade yourself to first class
The first thing to do that will get you noticed doesn’t even need to wait until you arrive at your destination. There’s really no better way to show off you are the top recruiter in the firm than by dropping a chunk of your massive commission cheques on upgrading to first-class seats on the plane while your boss and your colleagues get to sit with the rest of the plebs in the economy.
Make sure to really stand out by keeping the news that you will be sitting apart from the rest of the company completely private and only let them know that you have upgraded by striding into the first-class section like the boss we all know you are. Once you are comfortably seated, be sure to demonstrate your delegation skills by having the cabin crew escort your boss out of first class if they come to ask you what the hell are you doing. They have no choice but to be impressed by this fine display of business acumen.
Wear the best summer outfit
With the excess of partying that’s likely to unfold on your holiday, it will be easy for your boss to forget who exactly was on holiday with them – and what’s the point of going if you don’t use this as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship? The easiest way to do this is to make sure you have prepared a delightful selection of summer outfits that will be truly unforgettable (for all the wrong reasons).
Think about it - if you have the confidence to strut along the beach in a leopard print mankini, it will only reflect well on your abilities and assertiveness as a recruiter! After all, confidence is one of the most important traits of a top biller, right?
Replace your boss’s sunscreen
If your boss is particularly fond of the on-the-beach libations, there is a danger that your over-the-top summer attire isn’t going to cut the mustard. One thing that people always remember from a holiday is how bad their sunburn was, so if you can make yourself responsible for your boss getting an unforgettably painful dose of it, you are sure to stay at the front of their thoughts for many weeks to come.
My favourite way to do this is to wait for your boss to fall into their inevitable on-the-beach stupor, empty out their suncream, and replace it with cooking oil. Again, you can double up your big biller credentials by using premium extra virgin olive oil over some cheap vegetable oil.
Phone your clients from the nightclub
Your boss obviously wants a dedicated recruiter that is ready to jump on a call with their top clients any time and any place. Why should a night out in a club be any exception?
Show your boss you are the most dedicated recruiter they have by plonking yourself down in the corner of the club for a power hour. Try to guess which clients are most likely to be into banging house music and you might get lucky and uncover some common ground that can be used to build rapport as you scream over the DJ to make yourself heard. And it goes without saying, the deafening noise of a packed club can be really used to your advantage when you have no chance of actually hearing what your client is saying - so feel free to make up the whole conversation to your advantage. “An offer for the unqualified candidate I sent last week at special terms of 200% of first year’s salary with no rebate? It’s a deal, Mr Client!”
Be a hotel room rockstar
It’s only right that you feel like a recruitment rockstar for billing enough to go on the incentive holiday. But does that mean that the unforgettable antics have to end because the bouncers asked you to leave the club (what do they mean “your in-the-corner recruiting doesn’t fit with the vibe of the club”, anyway?).
Now is the time for you to really live up to your title of recruitment rockstar by trashing the hotel room. All the classics work well to make sure your attendance at the company holiday will go down in legend – throwing the TV into the hotel swimming pool from your balcony, glueing the furniture to the ceiling, and ordering an insane amount of room service food only to use it to paint the walls are all solid tactics. Better yet - once your boss has had to put the damages to the hotel on their credit card and bail you out of a foreign jail, there is only going to be one recruiter on their mind for a long time once they come home. Mission accomplished!
Disclaimer: If you wind up in a foreign prison with no help from your now ex-employer because you followed the above guide... I’m impressed, but still not going to take any responsibility or offer any help.
For some more realistic recruitment tips that might NOT get you fired, have a look at our eBook below:
