Let’s just be honest about recruiting during the summer months. It sucks.
Everyone is on holiday and anyone who is left is far too busy trying to stop global warming from melting them to do any actual business with you. So, you have two choices: Either you struggle on trying to hit your already pointless KPIs or you can try to come up with some creative places to keep out of the way of your boss and kick back until autumn. Well, I sure know what I’m doing.
Here are some tips that will help you do the latter…
1. Market Research
“Market research” is your golden ticket to freedom during the summer months. Convince your boss that you've stumbled upon a new market that is an untapped goldmine for the company, and the only way to strike while the iron is hot is to conduct some on-the-ground market research. Little does your boss know that your research will primarily involve lying on a beach towel, sipping fruity cocktails, and occasionally glancing at your "market research" folder filled with outdated statistics.
To perfect this ruse, gather some brochures and business cards from local establishments at your destination - just make sure you don’t spill your cocktail on them! When you return to the office, excitedly present your findings while discreetly brushing sand off your shoes and avoiding any questions that may require you to understand this new market. Your boss will be so impressed with your dedication and initiative, they won't suspect a thing!
2. The Beach
The beach is not just a location; it's a state of mind. It also makes a great place to hide from your boss as they won't be easily able to pick you out from the crowds of pasty-bodied sunbathers.
So, why not adopt that mindset and head straight for the sandy shores during office hours? As you lounge under a colourful beach umbrella, basking in the glorious sun, your boss will be left scratching their head, wondering where you've vanished to.
For extra precaution, invest in a disguise – an oversized sun hat and stylish sunglasses are a great start. If you're feeling adventurous you could build yourself a giant sandcastle to take refuge in when your boss comes to drag you back to the office for a power hour. Now, you can sit back, relax, and enjoy the freedom that comes with blending into the sea of beachgoers. Just don't forget the sunscreen; a sunburnt recruiter is not easy to explain.
3. Fake Client Meetings
Ah, the art of networking! In this case, it's more about "not-working." Find a kindred spirit among your clients or even a friend from another company who is equally fed up with summer's work slump. Organise a fake “client meeting” and bunk off work to spend the day together in the sanctuary of a nice beer garden.
Of course, the agenda for this meeting won’t be hiring plans and market trends but it is always good to agree on a story that you will tell each other’s managers in case they get suspicious and reach out to confirm what was discussed at the meeting!
4. Your Boss’ House
Now, this one requires the daring of a true recruitment maverick. If your boss has dragged you back into the office full-time to improve “collaboration” (they mean micromanagement), you have a very lucrative opportunity to do something a little different with their summer downtime.
With their bigger pay packet, your boss is very likely to have a much nicer home than you do - and it will be unfortunately lying empty while they spend all day at the office breathing down the neck of their recruiters. This is a great opportunity to break into their house and spend the day enjoying the fruits of their labour!
Imagine the thrill of sipping a cup of coffee in their living room or raiding their wardrobe to dress up in their favourite business attire. Remember, this escapade must remain a well-kept secret for obvious legal reasons.
5. Hiding in Plain Sight
If you're keen on staying close to the action while avoiding detection, this tactic is your calling. Take a sneaky trip to a well-stocked clothes shop and pick out a new outfit that perfectly matches the office decor – from the carpet's pattern to the colour of the walls.
Once you've transformed into an office chameleon, find a spot that offers camouflage and stay as still as a statue. Your boss will never suspect you're enjoying some peaceful downtime amidst the office chaos. Just make sure to keep your phone on silent for the day – after all, it’s always suspicious if the wallpaper rings when your boss calls to see why you haven’t bothered to show up for work today.
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this blog do not necessarily reflect the views or positions of Firefish Software who firmly believe that all recruitment managers are wonderful individuals and can’t think of any reason why their recruiters would want to avoid them.
